The stories leaders tell themselves
I went to a story slam and couldn't stop thinking about work.
This week I attended a Moth StorySlam.
I've been thinking about it ever since.
What struck me wasn't the storytelling itself. It was how differently people could experience events and walk away with completely different stories about what happened.
If you've never been, ordinary people get up and tell true stories from their lives. Some are funny. Some are heartbreaking. Some make you see something familiar in a completely new way.
It reminded me how powerful stories are.
Not just the ones told from a stage.
The ones we tell ourselves every day.
Leaders tell stories all the time.
"This person doesn't care."
"They should know better."
"I'm the only one who can do this."
"If I don't stay on top of it, it won't happen."
"Nothing is going to change."
The interesting thing about these stories is that they often feel trueâŠnot because we've intentionally made them up, but because we've been living with them for so long.
A missed deadline becomes a story about how committed a person is. A difficult conversation becomes a story about someone's attitude. A team member's hesitation becomes a story about capability.
Over time, we stop noticing that we're telling a story at all.
We start treating it like a fact.
One of the things I love about coaching leaders is watching the moment curiosity returns. The moment someone pauses and says:
"Maybe that's not the whole story."
Not because they suddenly excuse poor performance or ignore problems, but because they're willing to consider another interpretation.
And when that happens, new possibilities emerge. Different conversations. Different choices. Different outcomes.
Sometimes leadership changes not because the people around us change.
Sometimes it changes because we stop treating our stories as facts.
đ Stacey
PS: Think about someone who is frustrating you right now. What story have you been telling yourself about them? What might you discover if you got curious about another possibility?
